Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Is that your seat? Or: Learning to say no! - Series 1, part 4

For those of you joining us now, be sure to check out part 1, part 2 and part 3 for full hilarity of my pelvis' adventures!

"Baby and I are headed to our next set of post-natal exercises. oh boy..... 

Of course I have not done any of them at home, as expressly ordered by the midwife 'otherwise all of this is for nought' and I am working on my look of great concentration, in order not to give myself away during the lesson. I settle Baby and myself into a good space in the room with a bench in reaching distance, so I can sit there in case he gets hungry again. In the meantime the other Mothers pile into the room with their respective broods.

Have you ever noticed how fully grown people in courses that meet more than once have severe difficulties detaching themselves from the seat they ended up in, or chose in the first lesson? 

Having discovered that there were benches only along one side of the room last time and having been on the side without, I am in a different seat this time, next to the other two Mothers who were lucky or circumspect enough to choose this side of the room last time around. The midwife – resplendent in a holey top and showing off the greying straps of her no-doubt parachute-like bra - settles into her seat at the front of the row of mats down the middle of the room and looks somewhat perplexed. She starts off by telling us that the remainder of the group – 2 more women should have been joining us this week – will not be joining in the fun after all; she interrupts her vocal warm-up in mid-flow in order to ask me to move to the other side of the matt, as my position, possible unbalancing the group  - three at one side of the room and one at the other - just plain different from last time, seems to irritate her. 

Now, unfortunately for the midwife, I have decided to start practising my ability to say 'no'. I have been told this will come in handy as a Mom and what better time than the present, as I am also more comfortable where I am. So, I refuse, politely. Looking a bit taken aback, the midwife re-considers: what to do now? After a short pause she collects herself and decides that maybe she, being the only woman without a baby and all the assorted encumbrances that come with that, can move. What a stroke of genius!"

Watch out for next time, when I impersonate a sandy beach!

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